If you’re anything like me, you may also cringe reading someone’s ABOUT ME page written in 3rd person… masquerading as some professionally written bio, but clearly written by themselves.
So, instead of boring you with “Bruce has done this and that and is so great… blah blah blah…” I thought I’d write something a little more personal. If you do need my biography to introduce me at your event, feel free to use the one in the box below (written by me in 3rd person!).
Perhaps the most important thing you need to know about me is that I believe relationships are the fastest and most effective way to grow, heal and transform.
For the longest time, I struggled with my romantic relationships. Like groundhog day, no matter who I was with I seemed to repeat some form of a power struggle with my partner.
Our relationship would start off with all the usual emotional fireworks, but after a year or two we would end up pushing and pulling at each other. I’d push to get her attention and she’d pull away, needing “space.” The more space she took, the more anxious I became and the more I pushed for reassurance that we were OK. The more I pushed, the more she withdrew into her shell.
You can see where this is going right?
I was certain that if we just learned to communicate effectively, we’d resolve our differences and get back on the same page again.
Over the years as a professional keynote speaker and seminar leader, I’ve been highly trained in communication skills. Frustratingly, none of my repertoire of communication strategies made one ounce of difference when it came to getting on the same page with each other.
After a failed marriage and a subsequent heartbreaking relationship, I decided that it was about time that I figured out this Love thing.
I turned to science for answers and what I learned shocked me.
Everything I thought I knew about relationships was being proven wrong by science.
For example, it turns out that the majority of marital distress does not come from poor communication – it comes from a lack of secure emotional connection.
One by one, the light bulbs started turning on in my head.
I was struck with the thought “Why was I not taught this at school?”
The answer is obvious: The science didn’t exist then. And even if it did, nobody was teaching Marriage 101 at school anyway. And that’s when I began listening to the incessant whisperings in my heart saying, “Bruce, you know how to teach… so teach what you’ve learned about fixing your relationship and help other people how not the make the same mistakes you’ve made. The world needs this information.”
If you’d told me in my twenties that one day I’d be helping couples repair their relationships, I’d have thought you were crazy. I was convinced I was going to grow up to be a famous guitar player. Life had other plans it seems. 🙂
I qualified as a relationship repair coach and began the hard work of building www.LoveAtFirstFight.com – a resource for couples who want to improve their relationship, fix their troubled marriage and get on the same page.
Fortunately, Love At First Fight skyrocketed and rest is history as they say. Currently, I personally help more than 300 couples each year to repair their relationships and marriages.
Spouses come to me fighting, feeling hurt, sad, disconnected and alone… others reeling from an affair… and yet others in a sex-starved marriage…
Whatever their situation, the very first thing I teach them all is how to…
“Connect first, and communicate later.”
Back in the day when I was studying the science of relationships, this was one of my first big “aha” moments.
Until your partner feels emotionally connected to you, words won’t help you. You can try every communication technique in the book, but if the space between you feels more like a war zone than a safe haven, they’ll fall on deaf ears and you’ll both react like enemies at war – lashing out or withdrawing into your shell.
Perhaps you can relate?
If so, you may want to check out my free Relationship Repair videos.
So that’s how I got my start helping couples with their relationship problems.
When I’m not working, you’ll find me on the water kitesurfing or in the saddle of my motorcycle. I’m married to a wonderful woman (who also loves motorcycles) and together we travel the globe teaching and exploring. I’m also an avid guitar player and play in a local band.
Till we meet in person,
“Anything that is not love is a misunderstanding.”
– Bruce Muzik
Known as “The Couples Whisperer”, Bruce has built a reputation as the guy relationship counselors refer their toughest clients to, to help fix their troubled marriages.
He is an acclaimed writer, seminar leader, and coach, known internationally for helping couples repair their romantic relationships and start being happy together.
Unlike most traditional relationship advisers who advocate learning communication skills, he believes most couples already know how to communicate. “The trouble…” he says “is that most couples have never learned how to stay emotionally connected to each other when the Romance Stage ends.”
“Instead of trying to resolve a couple’s relationship issues by talking about them, first I focus on helping a couple connect like they did when they were falling in love. Only then does talking actually resolve anything.” he says.
Direct experience working with hundreds of couples each year has confirmed his belief that even “hopeless case” relationships can be revived with a dose of loving connection.
Born and raised in South Africa during the apartheid years, Bruce spent 6 months living in a local township (ghetto) as the only white man among 100,000 black Africans in 2002. This experience touched him profoundly and inspired him to dedicate his life to teaching.
Subsequently, his work has been featured on TV, radio, the front cover of a national newspaper, the BBC, London’s Financial Times and CEO magazine to name a few.
However, if you ask Bruce which of his many achievements he is most proud of, he’ll begin telling you about his journey learning how to keep his heart open in the face of conflict.
Bruce currently lives on a beach in the Caribbean and when he’s not on the road leading seminars, you’ll find him in the water perusing his passion for kite surfing.
If you’re ready to stop fighting and start feeling close to your partner, be sure to grab Bruce’s free Relationship Repair videos at www.LoveAtFirstFight.com (Bruce’s website dedicated to helping couples re-connect and end their relationship struggles).
While you’re at it, check out Bruce’s TEDx talk too. It has been watched more than 2 million times and may move you to tears: www.BruceMuzik.com/tedx/