In Blog, Personal Development

How To End Suffering

If I told you that you never had to suffer again, would you believe me?

In this video, you’ll learn:

  • How to end suffering for good
  • The difference between pain and suffering and why it’s important to feel pain
Bruce

P.S. Your opinion matters to me. Please leave me a comment below. I read each one…

Read this next: 5 Healing Conversations To Have After A Relationship Breakup

Showing 16 comments
  • Benjamin Esau
    Reply

    Hi Bruce this is coming at a good time in my life. I went through a very nasty breakup and for the first time i feel ican take control of my life. I brokeupfrom my companion of over five years and it hurts. But my problem is my companion he dont want to move on. Should try to be his friend or should i just leave him and move on with my life.

    • Bruce Muzik
      Reply

      Hey Benjamin,

      It depends on where you are in your process and development as a human being.

      Everyone has a different opinion about this, but I’m of the opinion that it’s a complete waste to cut people I love out of my life just so I can heal.

      It’s far more difficult sometimes (but infinitely more rewarding) to keep opening my heart, even in the face of pain.

      Sometimes, it helps to take some time away from that person while you grieve, but then again, my ex and I kept talking every day through our last breakup… Now we’re back together even stronger than before as a result…

      So again, there are no stock answers… Just depends on you and where you are in your life.

  • Julia K
    Reply

    Great distinctions between inevitable and optional. Breakups are enormous things to contend with. I’ve been through some rippers, and they can be like a full-time job working through. That’s a shame, Bruce, to hear you’ve been through one recently. You seem to be ploughing on very well though. I can’t imagine why anyone would let you walk out of their life!

    • Bruce Muzik
      Reply

      Thanks Julia. I know what you mean by them being a full-time job to work through sometimes.

      In retrospect, I can’t be anything but grateful for my last 2 breakups (both with the same woman). We’ve both grown from them so much and ironically the growth is what has us back together again.

  • Julie
    Reply

    Hi Bruce, Glad to know your still there. I was just loading my dishwaher and thought I’d not had an email for a while from you. I went then to check my inbox before bed (fatal I know!) And there’s an email from you. Wow!
    I like your new blog. I know what you mean about holding on to pain. I was doing that for a good few years. It became a habit.
    Looking forward to hearing you speak on tuesday or it might be wednesday here in GMT. whatever, I’ll be listening. Thank you.

  • Carla
    Reply

    Hi Bruce, thank you for your powerful clarity -as always.

    Your video meets me at the perfect time, and supporting my thoughts and feelings that my “failure” had been just the beginning of the next “best time of my life”. Yes, life is change and made out of beginnings, endings, and choices – and painted with joy and gratitude. Here we go!

    I wish you love, light, and miracles.

  • Janet
    Reply

    Hi Bruce: I just watched your video and just wanted to say that it didn’t make me feel any better at all. I am not in a relationship and I have not recently broke up from one, it has been at least 7 years since my break up and it was a very hard one to get over at that time but I am definately over it and wondered why it took so long, oh and it didn’t take 7 years but it seemed like it at that time. I know you are trying to help people but what you are saying is easier said than done because if it was that easy everyone would be doing it. Just one last thing I found it rather depressing on how many times you told people they were going to die, you mentioned it quite a few times and I think we all know that it is inevitable but would prefer not to think about it. I wish I could have said it was helpful and I hope you don’t think what I am writing is rude because it is not meant to be just an observation and my opinion….Thank you.

  • Anna Michelle
    Reply

    Hi Bruce,
    I want to say thank you for your powerful insights. “Opening your heart, even in the face of pain…” This is beautifully said. I remember when my significant other broke up with me, it left me with a hole in heart that refused to heal. I blamed myself for the unraveling of my relationship. And I was still reliving the past with such denial that my vision had become distorted. I had to learn that even though it may seem like a dark time and everything is against you, it doesn’t mean that it is the end of the world or the end of you. There is a saying. Time heals all wounds. But you have to allow it to first. I’m so grateful for your helpful wisdom.

  • James
    Reply

    Hi Bruce & All,

    ‘A relationship is about saying goodbye’ they all end and begin, and so it’s up to us how well we would like to say ‘goodbye’ and how loving we want to be during the ‘goodbye process’ or ‘the relationship’ be it work, clients, loved ones etc.

    Love, GJ.

  • reynan asuncion
    Reply

    Thank you so much Sir Bruce!

  • Christa Herzog
    Reply

    Very well explained that what counts is the NOW. With a breakup one has 2 problems to solve. The mental and the physical side o it. You talked about the mental side. But the difficult thing about a breakup is a hormone, which drops down and this hurts physically. Testosterone helps, but I would not advice woman to take testosterone pills. The pain can stay for months and we women can’t do very much about it, except going out and try to have fun.

    • Bruce Muzik
      Reply

      Hi Christa,

      Good point… and the physical side is a function of the mental-emotional side (to use your language).

      When you deal with the mental-emotional component of a breakup, the physical pain disappears – instantly.

      Bruce

  • Tristan
    Reply

    Hi Bruce

    Interesting distinctions and as you are all aware, saying something and doing it are two very different things.

    The Buddha said that suffering is inevitable and the origin of that is attachment. He also said that life is suffering. Learning non attachment is a journey, not a destination….

    The first noble truth…

    To live means to suffer, because the human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in. During our lifetime, we inevitably have to endure physical suffering such as pain, sickness, injury, tiredness, old age, and eventually death; and we have to endure psychological suffering like sadness, fear, frustration, disappointment, and depression. Although there are different degrees of suffering and there are also positive experiences in life that we perceive as the opposite of suffering, such as ease, comfort and happiness, life in its totality is imperfect and incomplete, because our world is subject to impermanence. This means we are never able to keep permanently what we strive for, and just as happy moments pass by, we ourselves and our loved ones will pass away one day, too.

    So learning to let go of the pillow, as you said, is the path to end suffering. I have recently read ‘Make Up, Don’t Break Up’ A MUST READ for everyone in a relationship or going through suffering/ pain from a relationship. It’s all about patterns and letting go of those in the context of learning within a relationship. A game changing book!

    Good luck everyone. My girlfriend ended our relationship this weekend. We split up once before, a few years ago (for 3 years). I was about to book my flight to India when an email popped into my inbox today asking me to stay because she recognised she was… well, to put it mildly, a large part of the problem.

    It’s all learning and growth… enjoy!!
    Tristan
    http://www.TristanSoames.com

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