In Blog, Personal Development, Psychology, Relationships
Due to the massive response to my blog post “From Heartbreak To Healing – Part 1“, I have written Part 2. It’s as vulnerable as the first was, if not more…

Have you ever thought that you’d never feel normal again after a heartbreak?

The last month has been a roller-coaster of emotions for me. After Amy left, I was left reeling in self doubt, confusion, betrayal and most noticeably, feeling abandoned.

Every day I’d wake up and not know if the hole in my heart was going to cripple me or heal me.

Abandonment has always been my core wound, my deepest seated fear…

… and in romantic relationships, I have often found myself in the same place I did recently, having my partner leave and feeling abandoned and then spending weeks ‘getting over it’.

I’ve unconsciously attracted women who are afraid of commitment and ultimately run away when the going gets tough.

Why We Attract The Same Type Of Person Over And Over Again…

We all have a core childhood wound (for want of a more accurate term) that emerged as a result of a need not being met.

Mine wound is the fear of being abandoned… Yours might be feeling not good enough or feeling unlovable.

These core childhood wounds are intrinsic to life and we all have them…

Until you 1) become aware of and 2) heal your core wounds you won’t be able to help unconsciously attracting the same people and situations into your life.

Often, these same people and situations bring you the exact opposite of what you consciously say that you want to experience in life.

If you look back at your previous relationships, you may notice a pattern…

Often our relationships end in the same way or for similar reasons.

Once you see your pattern in relationships, you’ll see it everywhere in your life. Your pattern is driven by your core childhood wound.

The good news is that your core childhood wound us heal-able.

The problem is that most of us have no idea what our core issue is and how to resolve it.

I’m going to show you how to begin healing your core issue, using my breakup as an example of how I am doing this myself.

How To Resolve Your Core Issue In Life…

What’s the one thing you want more than anything after a breakup?

For me, it’s to make the horrible feeling of loss go away so I can get on with my life.

I spent a month not being able to function properly after Amy left. I couldn’t bring myself to work and I couldn’t concentrate. I was constantly being pulled back into thinking of Amy and how horrible my life was going to be without her. Dreams shattered. Love lost. That kind of stuff…

All I wanted was for the horrible feelings to go away fast!

After doing the exercise I described in From Heartbreak To Healing – Part 1 I got myself to a place where I felt normal again.

However, I knew that I still had work to do if I didn’t want to attract another relationship like my last and wind up feeling abandoned all over again.

I had to first identify my own core issue, get to the root of it, and then heal it.

I’m going to share my own personal process with you, so you can use it to transform your own core wound from your past.

Your process will be different from mine, but if you complete it I believe you’ll find yourself in a space where you experience having choice about what kind of people and situations you want to attract into your life and begin doing that consciously.

The one place where our core issue always rears its head is in romantic relationships, so the first thing I did was identify my pattern in my relationships.

I wrote down the story of how every relationship ended, why I felt it ended and the feelings I felt when it ended.

Here’s the pattern I discovered from reading back the stories of my past romantic relationships:

  1. Most of my relationships have ended with my partner leaving me.
  2. Most of my relationships have ended because I became attached to the relationship not ending. I didn’t want to feel abandoned, so the minute I felt like my partner was withdrawing from me, I would take my focus off my own life and put it on saving the relationship. Often, the relationship didn’t actually need saving because nothing was wrong. I’d just interpret it that way e.g. when my partner would withhold communication or go quiet or show an interest in other men, I’d perceive that they were going to leave, so I’d go straight into “save the relationship” mode. This change of focus would make my partner feel that something was wrong, and instead of communicating my fear to her, I’d become needy and go into pleasing her to try to make her stay. Neediness is not exactly attractive. And so I would unconsciously drive my partner away and eventually my partner would leave…
  3. Whenever this pattern has played out in my life, I have ALWAYS (as in every time) felt abandoned (my core issue and biggest fear).

That’s my pattern. Now, let’s discover yours…

Here’s How To Discover Your Own Unconscious Patterns In Relationships And Your ‘Core Wound’…

The important part in discovering your core issue is to identify what you feel whenever you play out your pattern. Your feelings will point in the direction of your core wound.

Take a moment now and do this exercise:

  1. Write down the story of all your past relationships. Every one you can remember. A quick paragraph on each will do. Write down what happened to end the relationship and the feelings you felt when it ended…
  2. Now, read all your stories back and if you haven’t already, find the common threads in what you wrote. Underline emotionally charged words you use in each story. You should easily be able to see your pattern emerging in your stories. Maybe you cheat because you feel unable to express your desires. Maybe they cheat and you feel abandoned. Maybe you leave because you feel trapped. Maybe your relationships never last for more than 6 months, because you feel unheard and then leave to find a new partner. Maybe you can’t commit because you feel like committing is a sure path to feeling hurt if your partner leaves. Maybe you don’t speak up because you’re scared that you’ll get into trouble. Maybe you attract abusive partners and stay with them, feeling loved, because at least someone is giving you attention, even if it manifests as abuse…You get the idea…
  3. Look over what you write in the previous step again and identify the common feelings you felt in most of your relationships.Usually these feelings surface as fears, particularly when you perceive that you are somehow under threat. These fears will point you to your issue that you keep on inviting into your life.
  4. Then write down the following now: My pattern is relationships is ______ (describe your repeating pattern).
    When my pattern is playing out in my life, I feel ______, _____, _____ and _____.
    My believe that my core wound is ______.

WARNING: If you skip over the exercise above, you’ll be cheating yourself out of identifying your core wound. The end result is that you will end up repeating your negative patterns in relationships over and over until you heal your core wound (or die – whichever comes first).

What might feel like a curse is intended as a blessing, if you’re willing to confront your fear.

So, do the damn thing!

How I Got To The Heart Of My Core Wound

Once I discovered my core childhood wound was fear of being abandoned, I began to dig deeper to discover when I first remembered feeling abandoned.

Usually it begins early on in life.

It’s important to locate the earliest time you can remember your core issue playing out in your life, because that is usually the time when your core issue was created, and if you can heal that experience, you’re well on your way to being free of it.

For me, I remembered being about 6 years old and wanting to get my mother’s attention…

So, one day, I played dead. I lay on the carpet in our passageway and pretended I was dead. I was secretly hoping Mom would find me and panic and then come and love me.

She did find me, but instead of panicking, she told me to stop being silly and come to dinner.

In that moment, I decided that my mother didn’t love me.

I felt abandoned and alone – a feeling I have lived with for most of my life. I stayed on the carpet a little while longer, and then must have stood up and gone to eat dinner.

However, when I stood up, I was a changed little boy. The world was no longer a place where I felt I belonged or felt safe. It was a place where I felt alone… abandoned.

I bottled the feeling away, not wanting to show my mother how upset I was, and from that day on the feeling of abandonment haunted me for 31 years!

Of course my mother loved me (and still does). She had no idea what was going on inside me and I was too young to be aware enough to communicate to her what I needed most – to feel her love.

Discover When Your Core Issue Started…

Now it’s your turn to remember when you first created your core issue. This exercise will help.

  1. When do you remember the first time as a child that you felt the way you do whenever your core issue surfaces? Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax.Now ask yourself, “When did I first feel this way?” You may be flooded with memories or you may get none.Relax and allow them to surface. Let go of your attachment to finding the right one… The memories that surface may not make sense to you, but write them down anyway. Then allow the next one to surface and so on until you don’t get any more. It’s important to stay with the exercise, even if the memories that arise may be painful to remember. If you’ve had something really traumatic happen to you, like rape or physical abuse, stop this exercise and go see a good therapist, unless you are sure you can handle what you remember on your own.
  2. Now write down the following: I remember experiencing my core issue was when _____ (write down what happened). Another time I remember experiencing my core issue was when _____ (write down what happened)… and keep writing until you have written down every time you can remember experiencing your core issue as a child.
  3. When you had this experience, what did you decide about yourself, your life, and people you love? Write that down.
  4. Then complete this sentence… The first time I remember experiencing my core issue, which is _____, I decided _____ about myself, I decided _____ about life, and I decided _____ about the people I love. This plays out in my life as an adult like this: _____

Reading the above sentence back, may explain your entire life to you (or it may not).

Once you’ve gotten clear on what you decided, you’ll have discovered the driving force behind the people and experiences you attract into your life.

You come hard-wired to prove your core issue right.

Please remember, this kind of work is not an exact science, but more of an art… You may have to do some more thinking and remembering before you get to exactly what you decided about yourself, your life, or people you love.

Stick with it and take what you get.

How To Stop Your Core Issue Repeating For The Rest Of Your Life…

In order to stop repeating your past patterns in your life, you’ve got to experience your core issue completely and allow it to move through you until it is no longer there.

When something happens to us that causes our core issue to surface for the first time, we usually feel enormous emotional stress.

Our brain then tries to shut those feelings down as fast as possible to prevent us from feeling more pain than it thinks we can handle.

This causes a problem for us, because our brain doesn’t allow us to feel our feelings until they are completely gone.

Usually, we suppress our feelings long before they can even begin to move through us.

…and any feeling that we do not allow to move through us completely, is a feeling that stays with us until we do…

Read that again. It is critical to understand this if you want to heal your core issue and create a more fulfilling future.

Knowing this, I took some time out to completely re-experience (or re-feel) how I felt that day when I played dead.

I closed my eyes and imagined being 6 years old again, lying on the floor waiting for my mother to find me. I held my breath and tried to imagine what I was thinking, feeling and hearing at the time.

The things I couldn’t remember, I made up in my imagination as best I could to fill in the blanks.

After a while, I got in touch with what I felt that day and allowed myself to re-feel those feelings as a 6 year old (not as an adult).

I felt alone, lonely, unloved, disconnected, and abandoned.

Then, instead of blocking the feelings again, I let them loose. I allowed them space to move through me.

For me, this was not a hugely emotional process as I had already done most of the work to heal my core issue as I described in part 1 of this series.

However, for you, this may be a really painful process. Stick with it. You deserve to.

At the end of my process, a little voice on my head said, “Bruce, you’re done with this issue now. Move on.”

You may not have a little voice say exactly that, but hopefully, you’ll get to the point where you just know that you have resolved your core issue.

Also, you may not heal your core issue the first time you do the exercise I am about to describe. It may take several attempts… Keep at it…

So, over to you again…

How To Complete Your Core Wound

  1. Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to relax.
  2. Remember as vividly as you can the first time you can remember experiencing your core issue.Use visuals, sounds and feeling to get in touch with that memory. Stick with it. It may take a little while for you to really get into it.Remember to see out of your own eyes when remembering. If you end up seeing yourself as a child in front of you, just mentally jump into your child’s body and experience being in your body back then.
  3. Now here is the most important part. Allow ALL of your feeling to be and then make them more intense in your imagination. Imagine the feeling flowing through your entire body. If you feel that they are too intense, stick with it. Only by allowing them the space to move through you, will they leave you. If you are doing this properly, you’ll probably want to cry or scream in despair, or beat a pillow to express your feeling.
  4. Keep feeling your feelings until they subside and then stay there… Another wave of feeling may be around the corner. Keep feeling.
  5. You will know you are done, because you will feel empty inside and the emptiness will feel like a relief. At this point you are done.

If you don’t get to emptiness the first time round, stick with it, or come back later and do the exercise again.

Eventually, you’ll find emptiness and after a while, love will begin to replace that emptiness.

I can’t express to you what a relief it is to me to have allowed my fear of abandonment to move through me. I feel free again.

I don’t know of those feelings will surface for me again, but I do know that if they do, I’ll keep feeling them until they disappear for good.

If you haven’t done the exercises yet, book a time to do it as soon as you can. Your life depends on it.

Good luck and I hope that reading this has been as helpful to you as writing it was for me.

I wish you freedom.

Your friend,

Bruce

P.S. What are you learning about yourself? Leave a comment below and let me know…

P.P.S. The next installment, Part 3 of this post is here.

Showing 33 comments
  • Julie
    Reply

    Also wanted to add that there seem to be two distinct camps of people; those who have a fear of engulfment and those who fear abandonment. There can be, of course, moments of both with partners or interested parties but it still comes down to one or the other. I guess the trick is to find someone that isn’t overly neurotic or elusive, ha ha

  • Julie
    Reply

    I just discovered you today after watching your TED talk which was so moving and courageous. I believe that one of the highest levels of development is the ability to tell the truth. And as you said that there may not be any visible reward for it, except in your soul you are accountable and as you said authentic.
    I just had a major meltdown with the man I had loved so deeply and had given so much of my energy and good intentions to. He is a compulsive liar, in unaware of the results his choices make, has no clue as to what his primary core wounding is and a player. So after seeing your TED talk, watching the LoveAtFirstFight video then reading your heartache post, I feel very validated.
    My core wounding is an abandoning, emotionally unavailable mom. I have spent the last 30 years of my life pursuing relationships that mirrored this and am shot. I have also spent many years with a gifted psychotherapist excavating these issues. And Bruce, I feel you. (Although your post was dated ’11 and it is now ’13). I could go on and on but will say that the thing I have learned from my experiences is if you feel that ass-kicking attraction and chemistry, GO VERY, VERY SLOWLY. If you meet someone who is incredibly appealing and you feel woozy, put a hand out of the pool to stabilize yourself because this person has a very strong chance of devastating you, hence the overwhelming attraction. I have had several sweep me off my feet introductions like this and have ended with me wanting and them shutting down/running, six months to a year later. Until we get the healing and skill set to not come from a place of desparate need, it will probably end badly. And yes, feel the pain, let it rip until you are empty. I am impressed with a man that has the strength and guts to do this work, there aren’t many out there. I hope to hook up with someone as aware and loving as yourself one day.

  • Lisa
    Reply

    So what if you identify the core belief and roughly when it started but not a specific time, however are not brought to tears?! Instead, merely feel deep sadness? I have not cried in almost 14 years..

  • LeeAn
    Reply

    I just can’t get enough of feeling your energy, reading your passion and your website. Recently, I went through one of the most difficult break-ups with a lover. It felt worse than when I found out that my ex-fiance had passed away. Skeptically, I went through the exercises. (Having taken the Landmark Forum myself in 1999, I knew something was available for me.) To my surprise (LOL), I’ve gained clarity about my past relationships and my behaviors.

    My pattern in relationships is (describe your repeating pattern)to invalidate myself and walk away before they can break my heart. When my pattern is playing out in my life, I feel worthless, scared and ashamed. I believe that my core issue is neglect and abuse.

    The first time I remember experiencing my core issue, which is abandonment, I decided I’m worthless (about myself), I decided the good things in life must not be for me (about life), and I decided that no one could really love me (about the people I love). This plays out in my life as an adult like this: I say yes to relationships that don’t work for me, I try to please people and make them happy, I try not to rock the boat, especially by not rejecting them, withholding when I’m hurt, and not telling anyone when I’m feeling all alone or unloved.

    AND the other night, once I let myself get through and past the pain of letting go of this relationship, my underlying issue came up. I finally cried and fully let go of my ex that passed away. It was one of the deepest most sorrowful cries I’ve had in years. Wow, what a release! Thank you. Thank you from the depths of my soul.

  • SG
    Reply

    Bruce, After reading your blogs, watching your videos and listening to your CD, I think you’re an incredible human. What’s amazing is that your own your own path of self discovery and self improvment as you help others on theirs.
    Here’s the deal-
    The right woman for you will GET you. She’ll make time and have the desire to understand you. She’ll accept you and do what she needs to do to reassure you. She’ll be your partner and it won’t feel like you’re putting a square peg in a round hole. The basics won’t be a struggle.

    You’ll find her cause this time you’ll know what to look for.

    Warmly,
    Simmi

  • Rosanna
    Reply

    Hi Bruce,
    my issue is indeed very similar to yours. I too fear being abandoned and switch into saving the relationship. It originated in a different way, though. I’ve been a victim of abuse – I learn from a young age that setting boundaries, defending yourself, saying no to abuse would be interpreted by my abuser as “I don’t love you” and THAT would lead to being abandoned. So I have this pattern of rarely discussing my feelings unless they are related to specific facts or thoughts I can point out. This, of course, leads me to more abandonment. I think you are spot on with your approach because all that “will yourself out of it” sounds too detached, cold, and frankly narcissist to me 🙂

  • Tina
    Reply

    Bruce..OMG!! When I read your blog I felt like somebody had told you about my circumstances and you wrote about them. People have been trying to help me with my deal for years. You are the first person to put it in a tangible way for me to deal with it and be able to watch it go. Thank you for sharing. I know this is helping you as much as us.

  • Bev
    Reply

    I appreciate the honesty of the blog. It made me think!
    I found myself divorced in my mid 40’s.
    I made a list of men I had dated all my life. The ones I stayed with was A and the B list was the ones I’d rejected for some reason. It became very clear to me quickly, that the ones I rejected were all the nice guys. The ones I stayed with were ones I thought I could fix. I became the enabler….
    My sweetie for the last 9 yrs is a nice guy, that I took the time to know and love his bad side, cuz it doesn’t need fixing!

    The worst thing about grief is that when you are blindsided with it. The stages of grief are Denial or shock, pain or guilt, Bargaining or and anger, Depression, reflection,loneliness, the upward turn, reconstruction and working through, and hope and acceptance. When you are crazy in the middle of it, it helps to know what is normal!
    thank you for sharing,
    Bev

  • Nikola
    Reply

    Hey Bruce
    First and foremost – thank you.
    Your work has always been interesting and thought provoking, however, now I feel it. Now it evokes and feels emotional. You now feel very authentic as well as sounding authentic, so thank you for sharing and for being true.
    My understanding and my truth is that core issues such as abandonment, lack of self worth and similar are core issues that we as Souls have chosen to experience in order to re-connect to Spirit, Universal Consciousness etc. The truth is that we are always connected and are always in light and truth but the ego of being human does not allow us to remember, to see, to feel… all of the time.
    Each of us finds the tools and resources we need in order to recognise our own light and own divinity. As you point out, it is in feeling the lesson and allowing the feelings to happen that the lesson is no longer held within our Body or DNA as some of the harder lessons in life can be.
    This is simply my intuitive understanding and I hope of help to others reading your blog.
    As I say, the key reason for posting a comment was simply to say thank you for sharing.
    Blessings,
    Nikola

  • Melanie Joy Vertalino
    Reply

    Bruce,
    As I was reading this, all I could think to myself is, “This is one of the best articles I have ever read.” Then it occurred to me, near the end, that it is actually THE best article I have ever read. This is an area that so few people go into in such great detail and something we ALL struggle with in one area or another. I am sure you already know all things happen for a reason. Have you considered expanding on this and writing a book? I would buy it. And, if you are looking for a co-author, I am a writer, currently enrolled in Christy Whitman’s QSCA coaching academy, with my niche in relationships. (Half-kidding, Half-serious). In any case, bravo on healing yourself like this and for having the guts to not only share with the world, but teach countless others how to heal themselves as well. I have printed this out, and saved both articles in a folder. I am going to read this several times and apply it to my life, as I too have a core issue, similar, but different. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you writing this and I mean it about you turning this into a book. I assure you it would be a best-seller, as I have yet to see anyone include an exercise like this. Your book could apply the process with the exercise to different life areas. I don’t mean to overlook your pain. I just try to see the bright side. I know things like this hurt immensely, but I know you will be fine and healed completely, within time. You don’t need me to tell you the right things to do for that to happen. But, I did want you to see an opportunity where one exists. Just remember that you deserve to be with someone who appreciates you for who you are and what you have to offer, someone who you can share ideas with and grow together. You will find her, I know it. Thank you for sharing this with us. You have definitely got my attention.

    Warm wishes,
    Melanie Joy Vertalino

  • Glenn
    Reply

    Hi Bruce. After reading all you say, I just want to say that perhaps you have to learn some lesson in life and until you learn this lesson you will keep repeating the same mistakes. Life is such a tough journey. There is no easy way. When you find yourself in another relationship just be best friends. The rest will follow if you don’t expect too much. And very importantly, learn from your past mistakes. Everyone deserves to be loved and give love. Be patient with yourself. I talk from experience. In the meantime have some fun, relax about everything in your life, laugh out loud and enjoy exploring who you are and don’t over analyse everything. That can drive you insane. Take care. Glenn.

  • Cassandra
    Reply

    Hi Bruce – these last two posts were great, just great!

    One more thought :
    at a core belief similar to yours
    ‘I am the one who will be abandoned’,
    I wonder if there is another belief underneath stating
    ‘BECAUSE I am … or I am not ….’

    For instance, in my life I have always been the one who left.
    I get bored, I always end up feeling empty,
    I never get enough (strongest emotion)…

    BECAUSE I AM NOT ENOUGH – not good enough, not interesting enough, not kind enough, not whatever but just not enough.

    Just wondering,
    Cassandra

  • Sue
    Reply

    Another amazing post, and yet another COMPLETELY USEFUL (!!!) process! You amaze me!

    I’ve already worked with the process you give here a little, and will continue to do so – it is incredible what comes up for healing. Interesting, too, that relationships other than those with other people can be healed as a “side effect” of working with this. (Whoever heard of good “side effects” lol?!)

    For instance, it is opening doors of insight as to a project that I’ve started, which is “near and dear” to my heart, but with which I’ve been having second thoughts and doubts. As I work with the process to locate my core issue(s?), I am finding the correlations to my relationship with the aspects of myself that are hindering completion of a really IMPORTANT work.

    So, not only will this help with my interpersonal relationships, it is also showing me those places in myself that create procrastination, doubts irrational fears and other “issues” I’ve been wanting to clear up for some time.

    Thank you again!

    Sue

  • Phoenix
    Reply

    HiBruce,
    Thanks for your great writing with depth of thoughts and feelings!I do admire your courage, strength and loving kindess. Not only you are trying to heal yourself,but also to help heal other people.I’m sure someone who really loves you and you really love, is just around the corner.
    I do agree that forgiving people who have hurt you deeply requires extra grace. Forgiving and letting it go is the best way to heal yourself… All the best to you!

  • Nicoleta
    Reply

    Hi Bruce
    I enjoyed reading this post as well!
    It looks like it makes sense to many of us – i like that “switching to saving relationship mode”..that you were talking about;as you said maybe it`s not the case or maybe its not worth it because if its going to end its going to end anyway..

    Nicoleta

    • Bruce Muzik
      Reply

      You’re right Nicoleta.

      Life is too short to be with someone who does not want to be with me (or you)…

      • Nicoleta
        Reply

        😉 wish u good luck!
        for me its best to stay away from “trouble” because im too generous and too giving.

  • Erica
    Reply

    Hi Bruce,
    Wonderful posts and very valuable insights. Thank you!! It is so important to let yourself feel how you feel. But for all the times in your past that you weren’t capable of doing that, I have come across this explanation that has made the most sense to me personally: those emotions are actual physical charges that, if not processed correctly, can get “stuck” in your body and keep getting triggered, eventually even potentially causing illness. Much like you’re suggesting in getting to the root of your pattern of behaviors, the mechanism I have found to help with these issues is called NET – Neuro Emotional Technique (www.netmindbody.com). I have found the most wonderful Chiropractor who practices this in conjunction with my adjustments and I have seen vast improvement in my overall level of health, well-being and stress reduction. Taking it a step further than wanting to break patterns in relationships, it has allowed me to be at peace with having a much-improved and authentic relationship with myself right now, which is what so many of us deny ourselves in this day and age. It makes the most sense to me that when we are truly ok with being on our own, we are most authentically open to bringing in a true partner in life.

    This is simply what I have found that resonates with me, wanted to put it out there in the hopes that it may help you or someone else as well. Thanks for the wonderful energy you put out into the world! Wishing you nothing but love and happy days ahead…

    Cheers!
    Erica

  • Silvia
    Reply

    Thanks Bruce, you’r a blessing to all of us, thanks for the light you r giving us, sometimes we’r blind or simple we do not want to recognize our weeknesses. These exercises definetly r going to help me =)

  • John
    Reply

    OK Bruce – just like in the first post you got me thinking again.
    Like most people I’ve had issues with relationships in the past (2 failed marriages as part of that).
    I’ve started to go through your process to look for the pattern and discovered way back in my childhood the feelings I just wasn’t good enough (this coming from an otherwise pretty confident, outspoken guy!). I’m pretty sure that this has made me pretty insular and non communicative in my relationships in the past – quite the opposite to my persona outside the relationship and no doubt extremely confusing for my partners who must have been wondering what they did wrong! Net result was I have been left (thus vindicating the feeling!).
    Not sure where I’ll end up going with this but it sure feels good recognising the emotion and it’s probably come in time for me to stop repeating the process in my third marriage.
    Bless you Bruce
    John

  • Tom
    Reply

    I salute you Bruce. This is awesome stuff. Big Thanks.

  • Amy
    Reply

    I am touched, moved and inspired. You’ve chosen to grow through this with all of your heart. So proud of you. It all was a blessing in disguise…

  • Sandhan
    Reply

    Isn’t it great that we get to share what we also need to learn? How privileged we are that you’re sharing your experiences so we can benefit from them…

    You say that this post is perhaps more vulnerable than the last one ~ personally I don’t find it so as you speak less of your raw feelings and more of your experiences… but that in no way minimises the depth of what you’re sharing here…

    The only way to go is IN… everything and everyone is a mirror so if we don’t like what is being reflected back to us there is no sense getting angry with or smashing the mirror!! Plus what you resist persists so the greatest breakthroughs happen when we let go of trying to keep it all together and plunge into the depths of what we’re feeling… as a very wise seer was known to say ‘the Truth will surely set us free.”

    Go Bruce!

  • Erin
    Reply

    Wow! I’m completely blown away by your generosity. Completely impressed. Being human is to turn emotions off or bury them. I love that this exercise moves you from the affect of emotions to having power in being with emotions. I’m applauding though you can’t hear it. Much love to you baby! From one heart-broken powerhouse to another… loving and losing is all part of the game isn’t it? Thanks for being on the roller-coaster with me. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    E

  • nathan
    Reply

    hey bruce, nice to read your blog. been a while since we met at Jena’s wedding, and appreciate hearing what you’re going through. i know you’re a super capable guy, and it sounds from the above like you’re doing great stuff for relationship patterns … but i wanted to say if you want outside support, this is exactly the type stuff liyana’s amazing at – that intersection between relationship coaching and belief re-patterning/nlp … just thought i’d share that, as i don’t know if you and she got to connect enough you’d know she did that (http://www.love3point0.com). and, i’m not saying this as a sales pitch : ) more friend to friend, wanted to say i’m sure she’d love to chat, offer any input, etc. cheers, n

    • Bruce Muzik
      Reply

      Thanks Nathan,

      Great to know that and to hear from you. I’ll connect with her on Facebook.

      Love

      Bruce

  • Vanessa
    Reply

    Hey Bruce,

    Would think by now that some of us would be experts in relationships!! NOT!!!!
    You are spot on with this blog. Not easy because denial (de Nile = a river in Africa)is an ever present stronghold. The biggest fear is facing oneself and admitting we are not perfect. Ouch.

    Well done, I applaud you!

    V

    • Cheri
      Reply

      Hey Bruce,

      I`m not sure if you read the responses sent…..however felt a need to respond in the hope that you do.

      I applaud you in your honesty and in your sharing passing forward yopur lessons.

      I SOooooo identify with what you say about abandonment. My core issue as well……I do agree that the only way to heal is to feel the pain, permit it and eventually the wound heals, scabs over, scars etc. Took me two years of feeling the feelings to be able to move on.

      My real reason for emeailing you is knowing your core issue is not enough to heal you and prevent you from making the samre mistake again and again. i have found and I am on the journey at the moment is hypnotherapy is an amazing tool to reprogram your subconscious and eliminate forever the core wounding as is meditation and affirmation…..however hypnotherapy speeds up the process.

      Hope this helps you in some way.

      Smiles,
      Cheri.

      PS. I love your work…you inspire me contantly. Thankyou.

      • Cheri
        Reply

        Sorry should have done a reread and a spell check before sending!!!!!

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