Radical Forgiveness: The Perfect Apology
16 years ago, a woman I was deeply in love with suddenly left me and never came back. I never saw or heard from her again.
I found out via some friends that she had fallen in love with a friend of mine and was engaged to be married to him just weeks after leaving me.
For 16 years, I wondered why she left me… and each year, I’d try to contact her hoping to finally heal the wound that remained so raw in my heart all those years.
Today, 16 years later, she reached out to me and gave me the most beautiful gift.
“I’m sorry”, she said, “really, heartfelt sorry for causing you pain…”
I sobbed and sobbed as 16 years of old hurt and pain (some of which I never even knew existed) began leaving my heart.
As I write this, tears of gratitude are still streaming down my cheeks. I feel SO connected with her and we began chatting where we left off 16 years ago.
She gave me the most perfect apology I could have ever hoped for.
She asked me about my pain, then completely acknowledged her part in it and expressed her regret for having created it.
She took full responsibility for what she had done all those years ago and never once tried to make excuses or try and place some of the blame on me.
When she was done, I said, “Whatever karmic debt you feel you may owe me, no longer exists. I love you.”
Why am I sharing this?
Because perhaps reading this will inspire you to give the gift of an apology to someone you know you’ve hurt.
I will be sitting down this evening and asking myself who I need to apologize to.
Want to join me?
Leave a comment below and share your story with us.
Tagged with: forgiveness
Thanks for your bravery and honesty Bruce, I am touched. I have many apologies to make in my life right now. You have inspired me to get started. X
Hey Bruce,
I have been following you for a some time…I love your style of writing, the knowledge of the subject and most of all your openness and humbleness. I am impressed by your knowledge in the relationship field, definitely you have been learning from your own experience from thoughtful studies of the subject.
I like your open question.It’s always somewhere some one , who needs our apology. I would like to add my thought: It would be wonderful if we can remember the old saying “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand, where winds of forgiveness can erase it away…. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”
With much respect,
Andre