Mark Berger is an interesting friend of mine and every now and then writes a passionate rant (in the form of a newsletter) to his friends. His last one reminded me of something I sometimes forget, so I’m sharing it here with his permission.

Over to Mark:

During the past 16 years I have asked thousands of my delegates “What do you really want? What are your goals and dreams?”

Their initial answers include a variety of “things” such as money, possessions, love, recognition, respect, success, health, wealth, happiness, travel, fame & fortune etc.

Then I push a bit harder and ask: “What is the MOST IMPORTANT thing you want, when all is said and done? What would you actually place right at the top of the list?” Without fail, the majority inevitably vote for Happiness. Every time! (They sometimes also refer to it as inner peace, peace of mind, contentment, joy or fulfillment.)

I must therefore conclude that happiness is a fundamental desire for most people, a primary human goal.

In fact, I believe that happiness is built into our being, hardwired to our soul.

We are all born with a natural capacity for happiness, playfulness, creativity, joy and laughter. But as we grow up life happens and many of us lose it, somewhere in the stress, busyness and pressure of our (seemingly) overwhelming responsibilities.

Or our happiness gets smothered by hurt, loss, tragedy, disappointments, hatred, anger or fear. We therefore disconnect from our core state, our birthright and move into the world searching for something which we have always had inside.

Happiness is not something you move towards. It is the place you come from.

• It is the starting point, not the arrival.
• It is the journey, not the destination.
• It is the cause, not the effect.
• Happiness is an Inside Job.

The Self-Help movement would have us believe that The Secret to life is to become clear on what you really want, set SMART goals, harness the power of intention and then as NIKE says “Just do it.” Read the rest of this entry

In this candid interview, I share openly about the ups and downs of my romantic life and how my partner and I learned to create a relationship that acts as an incubator for self awareness and personal transformation.

You’ll learn:

• How I ended my depression without pills or therapy…
• How letting go of everything might just get you everything you’ve hoped for…
• How to get your romantic partner to open up to you…
• Why waiting for your partner to initiate intimacy is a trap that never works and what to do instead…
• How to create a safe space in your relationship in which your love can thrive…
• How to know when it’s time to break up…
• What to do when you or your partner wants to leave the relationship…
• And tons more useful tips and tricks for being happy and having more love in your life…

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Download as an .mp3

Enjoy…

P.S. Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you enjoyed about this interview.

Ever wished you had a magic wand that you could wave and all the angry, upset, depressed people that you waved it at would suddenly start smiling, laughing and even jumping for joy?

Well, I have such a wand… and I made you a quick video showing you how you can get one free and how to use it….

By the end of the video you’ll know 5 essential communication skills for turning an angry person into a purring pussycat…

Once you’re done watching the video, you can download a free pdf printout of these 5 conflict resolution tips.

Let the games begin… Now go share this video with your loved ones and begin practicing!

P.S. As always, your comments are welcomed and always read. Let me know how this video impacted you and if you loved it, I’d be forever grateful if you LIKED it on Facebook and Google +1.

Have you ever wondered why some days you feel PHENOMENAL and other days you feel just… BLAH?

In this short 3 minute video, you’ll discover how you create both… and how to have more phenomenal days…

If you do the exercise the way I describe it in the video above, you’ll discover something truly valuable about yourself and how you go about creating your reality. This is a high leverage exercise, and I recommend doing it right now.

Here are my highest leverage activities that energize and drain me. I’d be curious to hear yours in the comments below.

P.S. I’d be very interested to hear what energizes and drains you? Feel free to leave me a comment below.

Boy, am I glad 2011 is over!

2011 was a helluva year for me – certainly the most challenging one so far.

At the end of each year I look back and write a list of everything I learned that year… and 2011’s list was long.

So that someone other than me benefits from my mistakes, here are the most valuable 3 life lessons I learned in 2011.

LIFE LESSON #1: When I Face My Biggest Fears, Good Things Always Happen…

It was 14 May 2011 and I’m in Las Vegas standing in the wings about to be introduced to the TEDxSinCity audience as their next keynote speaker.

I’m nervous and excited at the same time…

Nervous because this is the most important speech of my life so far and if I fuck it up, I’ll look really bad in front of some of my most respected peers – and the world (watching the event live over the internet).

One year earlier, when asked if I’d like to take responsibility for organizing and speaking at the event, I almost backed out of the opportunity of a lifetime – to have the honor to speak at a prestigious TEDx event and have my work impact thousands of people on the internet.

“I just don’t have the time to put into organizing that kind of event and writing a speech…” was the pathetic excuse I came up with. Read the rest of this entry

Ever noticed how your current relationships may turning out very similar to your past relationships – business or romantic?

If you’ve ever broken up with someone, or been the one on the receiving end of a breakup conversation, you know how painful breakups can be. Also, you probably know how easy it is to carry the hurt and pain of a past relationship into all your future ones…

When we don’t complete our relationships powerfully and with love (i.e. completion means wrapping them up once they end such that you feel empowered), we carry the pain, hurt and unnecessary meaning (emotional baggage) from that relationship into future relationships.

To help avoid this destructive pattern, I’ve created 5 short conversations to have with your ex (business partner or lover), so that you both leave the relationship with your power and sense of self in tact.

Interestingly, when my last relationship ended, I went through this process with my ex… We were both in tears of appreciation for each other afterward.

One month later, she called me saying that she wanted to spend the rest of her life as my life partner. We’re back together now and deeper in love than ever before. I don’t think that could have happened without these 5 conversations. Read the rest of this entry

If I told you that you never had to suffer again, would you believe me? In this video, you'll learn:

• How to end suffering for good
• The difference between pain and suffering and why it's important to feel pain

Register for the Breakup Solution Summit for free and hear me teach a bunch more distinctions about:

• How to stop replaying the past over and over in your mind and move on with your life today peacefully and powerfully
• How to turn a messy breakup into an opportunity you can benefit from
• How to use your breakup to become more self-aware, so that your next relationship is not a repeat of your last one

P.S. Your opinion matters to me. Please leave me a comment below. I read each one...

Read this next: 5 Healing Conversations To Have After A Relationship Breakup

A.K.A. How To Be Sexy, Wealthy And Happy… Really!

In this article you’ll learn a time tested technique for becoming the kind of person that is considered sexy, commands respect, and has people knocking down their door wanting to help them succeed.

A few questions before we get started…

• Why is it that the doors of love, wealth, power, achievement and joy seem to naturally open for some people, while for the majority of the population these things seem like pipe dreams their entire lives?
• What magic makes people who are successful at dating and relationships different from those who are not?
• What magic allows Richard Branson have so much influence that just by saying he plans to invest in a business increases it’s share price?

Is it their track record, their network, their skill set, their personality, luck even?

Actually it’s all of those things and more, but if you were to put a magic umbrella over them all, the answer to that question would be TRUST.

The One Single Character Trait That Will Get You Further In Life Than Any Other Read the rest of this entry

Here is the most vulnerable, raw talk I have ever presented. Enjoy…

If you enjoyed this talk, please click the LIKE button above and leave me a comment down below… Thanks.

In my opinion, a conscious, loving relationship is THE SINGLE most powerful transformational tool there is. Whether or not you’re in a relationship or interested in learning about the conscious kind, the distinctions I am about to share will be useful in any context, because our lives are made up of relationships.

If you’ve been a regular reader of this blog, you probably know that my last relationship recently broke down. This got me thinking about what I want in a future partner and what I feel will make it last…

I’m going to approach the concept of “conscious romantic relationships” as a system, with components that make the system run as designed…

Although the 7 components I will put forward here don’t include every piece of the puzzle, these are the ones I find most useful. I hope you do too.

This blog post includes a video and article. Watch the video first and then read the article below…

By writing this, I am not claiming to be a relationship expert. However, I’ve screwed up and loved in enough relationships to have learned a thing or two about what doesn’t work and what does.

1.  Close Your Escape Hatches

In romantic relationships, we all have escape hatches – ways to avoid dealing with the issues that confront us when we embark on the journey of loving another in the context of a committed relationship. Read the rest of this entry