Relationships Archives

Nelson Mandela: 1 Thing You Didn’t Know About Him

Here’s something you may not know about Nelson Mandela.

Nelson Mandela Was A Hopeless Romantic

Besides being a freedom fighter and visionary leader, Madiba (Nelson Mandela’s tribal name) was also a starry eyed Lover – with a capital L.

Married 3 times, his love for his 2nd wife, Winnie, got him through 27 years in prison.

From his prison cell on Robben Island he wrote regularly to Winnie. In one letter he wrote:

“Your beautiful photo still stands about two feet above my left shoulder as I write this note. I dust it carefully every morning, for to do so gives me the pleasant feeling that I’m caressing you as in the old days. I even touch your nose with mine to recapture the electric current that used to flush through my blood whenever I did so.” - Nelson Mandela – April 15, 1976.

Electric current flushing through his blood? These are the poetic words of a man deeply in love.

Read more…

Fuck Self Love

How To Stop Trying To Love Yourself, And Start Being Happy

Having spent a lot of my 20’s and early 30’s battling mild depression, I’ve read far too many self-help books in an attempt to figure out why I was miserable with my wonderful life.

At some point, almost every book cited self esteem as the problem and learning to love yourself as the miracle cure for unhappiness.

Not one of the books actually had a step-by-step prescription for how to love yourself.

So, the question I’ve been asking myself for years is:

Exactly how the fuck am I supposed to love myself?

Do I wake up in the morning and hug myself?

Do I look at myself in the mirror (with puppy-dog eyes) and repeat the mantra “I love you, Bruce. I love you, man. You’re awesome!” over and over until I believe myself?

Do I give myself long warm baths and take myself for a massage once a week?

I can tell you, I’ve tried all of these… and although some of them temporarily made me feel better, none of them ever made me love myself any more or magically altered my self esteem at all. Read the rest of this entry

Radical Forgiveness: The Perfect Apology

16 years ago, a woman I was deeply in love with suddenly left me and never came back. I never saw or heard from her again.

I found out via some friends that she had fallen in love with a friend of mine and was engaged to be married to him just weeks after leaving me.

For 16 years, I wondered why she left me… and each year, I’d try to contact her hoping to finally heal the wound that remained so raw in my heart all those years.

Radical ForgivenessToday, 16 years later, she reached out to me and gave me the most beautiful gift.

“I’m sorry”, she said, “really, heartfelt sorry for causing you pain…”

I sobbed and sobbed as 16 years of old hurt and pain (some of which I never even knew existed) began leaving my heart. Read the rest of this entry

Two Big, Embarrassing CONFESSIONS

Before I get to not one but *TWO* big, embarrassing confessions (hell, I’d rather not get to them at all…) let me ask you a question to make myself feel better:

Tell me something…

Have you ever met someone who you felt might be “the one” and then totally “blown it” with them?

Maybe you thought you really had a “chance” of being together forever?

But somewhere along the line, something went WRONG… the chemistry between you was electrifying at first, but over time your connection faded and you began to argue with each other.

Then, either:

  1. one of you ended the relationship… OR
  2. you’re still with him/her, but you feel stuck – feeling trapped or alone in a relationship filled with tension and fuzzy communication.

Either way, here comes my embarrassing CONFESSION #1: Read the rest of this entry

[REPLAY] Practical Love Advice

Here’s an hour of me answering some of the most common questions about relationships and how to make them work:

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

In this audio you’ll learn:

  • Why you lose yourself in relationships and how to get yourself back!
  • Why your partner gives you the silent treatment and how to get them out of their shell when they do
  • How to know when it’s time to break up or stick at it
  • How to encourage your partner to express their feelings
  • When your relationship will most likely get stuck and what to do about it if it is
  • How to keep your relationship a safe haven that your partner will keep wanting to return to
Want deep intimacy and to secure your love to last a lifetime? Join me in the Love At First Fight Coaching Program starting online Saturday, 18 August 2012.

“Bruce. Thanks for your teleclass! Hailstorms and turtles.
The cage and the bird! Awesome!”
– NL, New York

“At last! Some practical relationship advice that I can go home and apply right now” – CB, New Jersey

Ninja Communication Skills

Did you watch the 2012 Olympic opening ceremony on Friday night?

I was chatting to a friend about it this morning and we both noted how fun it was to experience the richness of British culture watching the Queen, Mr. Bean and James Bond during the opening ceremony…

Ever noticed how when you visit some countries, you feel pulled into a magical reality, rich with meaning…

…while other countries have cultures that feel flat, repressed or shallow?

You may not have thought about it, but your relationship also has a culture

The two of you give off a “vibe” that others can pick up on. And because you spend so much time with your chosen mate, the culture of your relationship will largely determine how your life turns out, so this is an important distinction.

The question it raises is:

Is the culture in your relationship one that feels welcoming, exciting, and warm with the intimacy that comes from being fully known and deeply seen by your lover…

OR

…is the culture of your relationship one that feels heavy, cold and unsafe, where you both tiptoe around on eggshells to avoid provoking each other?

Which more accurately describes your relationship?

You most likely relate to both, depending on where you are in your lives together.

At one point, the culture in my relationship was like the culture of a war torn country – cold, hard and deserted. It seemed like every communication turned into a fight – every bid for love was seen as an attack.

I had to do something, because despite all my communication skills learned as an internationally acclaimed speaker and trainer, I still could not accomplish the simple task of getting the woman that I loved to respond to me.

The highest leverage point for creating
a “culture of intimacy” in your relationship…

The culture in your relationship is determined by your ability to communicate with your partner in a way that resolves conflict and creates intimacy.

Of course, this skill was never taught to us as we were growing up, so most of us feel emotionally shipwrecked when conflict arises during the Power Struggle stage of our relationship.

I know I did.

I discovered that the communication skills required to get me into a relationship were very different from those required to get me through the Power Struggle stage of a relationship.

So I began devouring every book and course I could find on communication and conflict resolution… And in the process, we learned a new set of communication skills that saved our relationship.

A pleasant side-effect of using these skills has been that we’ve created a culture of acceptance, unconditional love and mutual respect in our relationship, without actually setting out specifically to do so.

Learn a powerful “culture creation” tool

Conflict Resolution skills
I’m making videos as part of the launch of my new Love At First Fight relationship training program, so you can get a feel for what it’s like to learn with me.

I just finished up a new one teaching you a core skill for turning a fight into an opportunity for intimacy.

Click on the link below to watch it.

Ninja communication skills

Talk soon,

P.S. My new relationship training program is opening soon. Keep an eye on your inbox if you already know that you’re interested in joining us.

P.P.S. Even if you’re not fighting with your partner now, someday you’ll wish you had the ability to de-escalate a fight. Trust me on this one.

 

An Open-hearted Letter About A New Direction

If you read my newsletters then you’re pretty special – and no, I’m not blowing smoke up  your ass! :-)

You are in a very small group of people on the planet interested in becoming a better human being… and that is rare.

So first off, I want to say THANK YOU… for being the kind of person who doesn’t just follow the herd… for being a free thinker… for reading my blog..

Without you, my work makes no difference.

Today I want to share something more personal than usual.

You perhaps know me as the guy who teaches people to be more successful, master their mindset and attract their dream life using the Law Of Attraction.

That business has been generous to me, allowing me to travel, a passive income and the ability to live and work from a beach on an island in the Caribbean.

…and for that, I am extremely grateful.

But the time has come for me to keep growing. Read the rest of this entry

The Relationship Manifesto

Jean and Sir Richard

Jean and Sir Richard

The Secret Of The Elders…

Last week, I had the great privilege of befriending Jean Oelwang – the CEO of Virgin Unite – Sir Richard Branson’s not-for-profit organization.

Jean has met some pretty influential leaders in her time working for Sir Richard, and she told me a story that inspired me and confirmed something I’ve suspected for a long time.

Jean shared with me that she spent a few days on Nekker Island with The Elders.

The Elders is a group of the greatest peace makers and social revolutionaries of our time. It was founded by Nelson Mandela, is chaired by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and includes people like Kofi Annan and Jimmy Carter.

Recently, Sir Richard charged Jean with the task of observing and studying The Elders (during their time on his Caribbean Island) to find out what they all had in common.

Want to know what Jean discovered?

It’s not what you might think… Read the rest of this entry

The Intimacy Interview

IntimacyIn this candid interview, I share openly about the ups and downs of my romantic life and how my partner and I learned to create a relationship that acts as an incubator for self awareness and personal transformation.

You’ll learn:

  • How I ended my depression without pills or therapy…
  • How letting go of everything might just get you everything you’ve hoped for…
  • How to get your romantic partner to open up to you…
  • Why waiting for your partner to initiate intimacy is a trap that never works and what to do instead…
  • How to create a safe space in your relationship in which your love can thrive…
  • How to know when it’s time to break up…
  • What to do when you or your partner wants to leave the relationship…
  • And tons more useful tips and tricks for being happy and having more love in your life…

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download as an .mp3

Enjoy…

P.S. Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you enjoyed about this interview.

5 Essential Communication Skills For Conflict Resolution

Ever wished you had a magic wand that you could wave and all the angry, upset, depressed people that you waved it at would suddenly start smiling, laughing and even jumping for joy?

Well, I have such a wand… and I made you a quick video showing you how you can get one free and how to use it….

By the end of the video you’ll know 5 essential communication skills for turning an angry person into a purring pussycat…

Once you’re done watching the video, you can download a free pdf printout of these 5 conflict resolution tips.

Let the games begin… Now go share this video with your loved ones and begin practicing!

P.S. As always, your comments are welcomed and always read. Let me know how this video impacted you and if you loved it, I’d be forever grateful if you LIKED it on Facebook and Google +1.

 Page 1 of 3  1  2  3 »