Personal Development Blog, Self Development, Authenticity
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Due to the massive response to my blog post “From Heartbreak To Healing – Part 1“, I have written Part 2. It’s as vulnerable as the first was, if not more…
The last month has been a roller-coaster of emotions for me. After Amy left, I was left reeling in self doubt, confusion, betrayal and most noticeably, feeling abandoned.
Every day I’d wake up and not know if the hole in my heart was going to cripple me or heal me.
Abandonment has always been my core issue, my deepest seated fear…
… and in romantic relationships, I have often found myself in the same place I did recently, having my partner leave and feeling abandoned and then spending weeks ‘getting over it’.
Of course, at an unconscious level I’ve attracted women who are scared of commitment and ultimately run away when the going gets tough. Read the rest of this entry
This blog post is a stretch for me. It’s a stretch because it’s raw and vulnerable as hell. I actually considered starting another blog under a pseudonym so that I could write my deepest thoughts and feelings anonymously, but then I realized that was a cop out.
If I let fear of judgment get in the way of expressing who I am and what I’m learning, how will this blog ever be of service to you?
So, here goes…
Four weeks ago, my lover Amy (not her real name) decided to end our relationship. Read the rest of this entry
I just got this great question in from one of my personal coaching clients and I wanted to share it with you as I think you’ll find it useful…
Techniques/Things that have worked well for me in the past have included:
Let me know! I have a sense you’ll have some great insights.
If you’re an entrepreneur, small business owner, or considering becoming one, press play below…
You’ll learn from three real entrepreneurs, Mike Handcock, Hannes Dreyer and myself about:
P.S. Please leave me a comment and let me know what you learned… I read every one.
Most entrepreneurs have no idea that there is a cycle of stages that their business will go through. When you know where your business is in the cycle, you’ll know what you need to do next.
In the video below, my good friend Mike Handcock explains the cycle of business. If you’re an entrepreneur, I know you’re going to find this valuable.
Have you ever not done something you really wanted to do because you were too darn scared?… and then hated yourself for chickening out?
This weekend, I conquered a childhood fear and fulfilled a lifelong dream at the same time… and then I created a 3 minute video to inspire you to conquer yours.
Watch the video and conquer yours…
Your partner in success,
P.S. In this quick video I reveal a very out of fashion clothing accessory. Wear it at your own risk…
P.P.S. Please leave a comment below and let me know what fear you’re going to conquer this week and how you’re going to do it…
I was working next to my girlfriend on my laptop this morning when I heard her exclaim “Oh crap!”
“What’s up, honey?” I asked, sensing she was really upset?
“I just missed a Skype call with an important client,” she confided.
Tears began to well up behind her eyes and I knew she was beating herself up for missing the call and probably thinking that she had potentially tarnished her professional reputation in the eyes of an important new client…
“What’s wrong with me that I can’t even make a simple call on time?” she exclaimed in exasperation…
This was the second time in one day she had missed a scheduled call and she was understandably frustrated.
Here’s how I coached her back to the point where she was smiling and laughing again…
“Honey, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you…
Instead of thinking about this as a problem with YOU, let’s approach it in terms of a problem with the SYSTEM you use to schedule calls across time zones…”
It was her 4th week traveling on the road with me and she was still not used to scheduling her business calls across multiple time zones.
“How come you missed the call, honey?”
“Well, he’s on Central Standard Time and I’m on South African time, so I proposed a time to him and then added on 7 hours to figure out the call time here in South Africa… except, I counted wrong and entered the wrong time into my calendar, and then missed the call… Dumb, dumb, dumb!”
“Where was the point of failure in your scheduling system?”
“In relying on my math to calculate the time difference between CST and South Africa time.”
“So, what could you do in future to ensure that you calculate the correct time?” I asked.
“Well, I guess if I entered the time of the call into my Google calendar in Central Standard Time, Google can display it accurately in my local time zone and I won’t have to do the math…”
“Exactly!” I shouted with delight.
“With that new SYSTEM for scheduling calls across different time zones, you’ll always know the right time for the call in your time zone…”
I could see the color returning to her face and she leaned over and hugged me (I like hugs).
“See how changing an element in the system is a more effective approach to fixing a problem than trying to fix yourself?”
“Yes!” She exclaimed with a grin on her face, “I feel soooo much better.”
If you approach your everyday breakdowns in terms of a system failure instead of a personal failure, you not only bypass the bad feelings of beating yourself up, but can look at your problems objectively and create solutions that would never have emerged had you given in to the trap of trying to fix yourself.
Trying to fix yourself assumes that something is wrong with you… and nothing could be further from the truth.
Here’s the unconscious logic that occurs in your brain when you try to fix yourself:
THE RESULT: Endless self doubt, depression and no action – not exactly a recipe for success…
So, next time you think you’ve screwed something up, STOP – then approach the breakdown in terms of a system fault instead of a personal fault. See if you can fix the system, and then go reward yourself for being so smart!
That’s all for this week…
Your partner in success,
P.S. If you want to create a system for success in the area of money this year, make sure you watch this video about the SYSTEM OF MONEY from my mentor, Eben.
P.P.S. Please leave a comment below and let me know what you learned from this article…