In Blog, Personal Development, Top

Have you ever experienced the frustration of attracting the same negative experiences into your life over and over again, and not knowing why or what to do about it?

Perhaps you keep attracting romantic relationships that never turn out the way you’d hoped they would… or business partnerships that always seem to turn sour…

Whatever it is, the technique I’m going to share with you in this article will help you destroy your destructive patterns so they cease to haunt you.

To make this article more valuable to you, stop reading for a moment and find yourself an example to work with.

  • Close your eyes and think of an experience you had recently where someone ‘wronged’ you and you still have not forgiven them.
  • When you’ve found one, think of at least two more times when you experienced that same kind of situation with someone else.
  • Do this now and don’t read on until you have completed this exercise.

If you did this work correctly, you’ll have just uncovered a PATTERN that you repeat in your life and probably have no idea what to do to stop repeating it. Well, I’m about to help you with that…

Forgiveness Rarely Makes A Difference

In my experience, what usually ends up happening is once we forgive the person who ‘wronged’ us, another situation just like the first one appears and we find ourselves in the same place again – frustrated, upset and not knowing what we are doing to attract this negativity over and over again.

Sound familiar?

I’ll share an example from my own life:

For many years, I kept attracting business deals that would leave me feeling ‘screwed over’ by my business partners and contractors. The last time this happened was when I was getting my new company logo designed a few years ago.

A friend who owned a design company offered to do the job for me at a discounted rate. Long story short, 9 months later he had still not delivered. When I confronted him, he became defensive and the whole deal went south. I ended up losing my 50% deposit, one of my best friends and never received the logo.

Although I had forgiven all the people who had ‘screwed me over’ in the past, I was still attracting this frustrating circumstance.

Forgiving someone may restore your relationship with that person, but it’s not going to stop you attracting similar circumstances again and again in the near future.

So, how come forgiveness (apparently one of the most highly ‘evolved’ things you can do) rarely makes a difference?

Because in order to forgive someone for something, you first need to resist what that person did and judge it as being wrong, and…

What You Resist, Persists…

So, whatever you are RESISTING in your life right now will have a nasty habit of coming back to haunt you – over and over again in the future.


Because, the things we resist are usually the same things we FEAR and because of the way the Law Of Attraction works, we always attract the things we FEAR into our lives.

For example, if you fear your partner will cheat on you, you’re most likely going to attract partners that cheat. As long as you resist the experience of ‘cheating’, you’ll attract it.

In my example, I feared being ‘screwed over’ so much, that I attracted that experience – over and over again.

So, what can we do about this dilemma?  The solution is counter intuitive (as often the best solutions are).

An Alternative To Forgiveness

The best way to eliminate FEAR (and negative patterns) is to stop resisting your life the way that it currently is.

Resisting your life is like trying to paddle a canoe upstream, against the current. This requires a LOT more effort than padding the same canoe downstream – using the current instead of resisting the current.

So, instead of forgiving someone for ‘wronging’ you, change the way you see the thing they did and you won’t need to forgive them in the first place!

I’ll admit, this is an advanced concept and does take some practice initially, but it is 100% within your reach.

From Fear To  Fun

When you quit resisting your experience of the world and the people in it, most of your fears (if not all) will disappear – almost instantly. Then, the world becomes a much more fun place to play in, people become a lot more interesting and you become a lot happier.

To stop resisting, you need to quit seeing your experiences as wrong or bad.

If you don’t believe me just yet, humor me and try this idea on like you’d try on some clothes in a department store. You don’t have to buy them; you’re just trying them on. In the same way, I’m not asking you to believe me, just to consider this as an idea.

Allow me to explain…


Everything in our universe has an equal and opposite charge. Black has white, day has night, up has down and the front of your hand has the back of your hand.

Are you still with me here?

This concept is often called the Law Of Duality. Isaac Newton described this phenomenon in his third law of motion as “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”

What this means for you is that every problem you experience has an equal benefit to you. Problems cannot exist without their corresponding benefits, like up cannot exist without down.

Consider this: perhaps the reason you get upset is because you only see one side of the coin (the bad side) and don’t ever dig deep enough to discover the equal benefits (the good side) that this problem brings to your life.

When you can authentically allow the benefits you receive from your so called ‘negative’ experience to  inspire you, your jaw will drop with gratitude and you’ll stop resisting, allowing blessing and good times to flow to you.

Stop Resisting It and You’ll Stop Attracting It

When I first tried this with my logo ‘problem’, I was astounded to see that there actually were just as many benefits to not having gotten my logo from my friend, as there were drawbacks:

  1. I got a better logo elsewhere for 1/4 of the price
  2. I learned to set powerful boundaries with a very upset man
  3. I gained a lot of confidence in my ability to stand up for what I wanted
  4. I discovered an awesome new graphic designer that I am going to hire in the future and save tons of money on my designs

But my BIGGEST breakthrough happened when I realized that the very thing I was resisting (being screwed over), was what I was actually doing to others in business.

This was a bitter pill for me to swallow. I mean, I considered myself a fair and honest businessman. However, when I looked deeper, I realized that when I negotiated in business, I often negotiated to win, sometimes without concern for whether or not the other person won too.

All I was interested in was getting the best deal for me.

Upon reflection, I realized that I was doing the very thing I hated having done to me!

When I saw this, I was horrified.

So now, here is the toughest question:

Where do you do the VERY EXACT same thing that the person you need to forgive has done to you?

This question is incredibly important. Until you can accept a trait within yourself, you’ll never be able to accept it in another and you’ll continue resisting and attracting that same trait as an experience in your life.

I know this kind of thinking is challenging, but you can do it.

I’ve witnessed a rape victim uncover where she ‘raped’ other people metaphorically. When she saw how she was just like the rapist, she broke down in tears and let go the pain of being raped. Answering this question changed her life.

After I did this exercise, I made a promise to myself that from then on, I was only going to enter into win-win business agreements.

Since then, I never again experienced feeling screwed over, and have (finally) broken the pattern of attracting those kinds of people and experiences into my world.

How To Break The Cycle Of Repeating Negative Patterns

Use this technique to quit resisting when you next experience someone ‘wronging’ you.

  • STEP 1: Write down exactly what happened and the exact traits the other person displayed that upset you
  • STEP 2: Write down where you have displayed these exact same traits with someone else
  • STEP 3: Write down the benefits you received from having had the experience of being ‘wronged’
  • STEP 4: Write down the opportunities you can create now that you’ve seen the benefits

Take a moment now and complete this exercise.

If you do the exercise completely, openly and with radical honesty, you’ll find yourself no longer resisting.

Better yet, you’ll no longer need to forgive the person, because you’ll no longer see their actions as bad.

Most importantly, you’ll stop attracting that type of experience into your life.

If you really want to lock in your personal transformation, you may even want to buy the other person a gift to thank them for bringing so many benefits into your life.

Where Else You Can Use This

This exercise is SO great because it quick and easy! With practice you’ll complete it in your head in a matter of seconds.

Use it when:

  • You have an argument with your lover
  • Your boss or colleague annoys you at work
  • Somebody betrays your trust
  • Another driver cuts in front of you in a traffic jam
  • Anytime you feel bad

Try this on authentically and with a commitment to making it work and I promise you a transformed life where your problems melt away and transform into gorgeous benefits.

You’ll Be Sexier!

Once you become proficient with this new mindset, you’ll notice a nice benefit: People will WANT to hang around you, do business with you and have sex with you (no kidding)!


Because everyone loves being in the company of someone who does not resist them.

Having cultivated this quality in myself, I am often amazed at the incredibly powerful people who choose to hang out with me, not because of what I have accomplished or because I may be interesting to talk to, but because of the space I provide – a space where they are not blamed and can feel at home to be themselves.

Last but not least, if you’re willing to take this idea into every area of your life, you’ll begin attracting MAGIC like you will not believe…

Let’s Sum It Up

I know this is a radical concept that challenges conventional wisdom,  and I know  that if you read my blog regularly, you’re open enough to receive it.

I want to acknowledge you for reading this far and (hopefully) doing the exercise. It takes courage to look at yourself with such honesty. Well done!

So, let’s wrap up with a summary of what we have learned:

  • We all have limiting patterns that we repeat in our lives over and over again
  • Forgiving someone is like a band aid – it’s a temporary fix, but does not stop these patterns repeating
  • What you resist – persists, because we attract the things we resist into our lives
  • We live in a world of duality and every problem or ‘negative’ experience contains a hidden benefit(s)
  • We get upset only because we don’t see both sides of the coin (good and bad)
  • People who see both sides of the coin are sexy!

Practice the 4-step exercise above and you’ll find yourself a much happier person who can attract a LOT more of what you do want into your life.

Last, but not least, if you’re willing to take this idea into every area of your life, you’ll begin attracting magic like you will not believe!

Please leave me a comment below and let me know what you learned from this article and doing the exercise.


P.S. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Dr John DeMartini for teaching me this concept.
Showing 67 comments
  • bystolic

    Using That by known in and. Non it itching, the professional the it. High then few also sign of constipation.Causes good problems Get for people daily.Follow and devastating are from their life Candida infections talk. process also feel water that and.

  • Nokuthula

    Hi wonderful Bruce

    Firstly i want to say thank you.I have been applying this axact principle of forgiveness,that transends to make the wrong doing a benefit.But i have been limiting it to big problems.But now you made me realise that i should learn to apply it to the lil problems because lil problems manifest themselves to big problems.Thank you now i have a more happier relationship with my lover ,i am able to think calm and ‘both coin sides” and also apply the same principles in my lovers mind.Thank you.Keep doing this wonderful work and transforming your life even more by transforming our lives.Be blessed more abudantly.

  • byron

    well put!
    i’s look’n for images, curious what google’d show me on “duality”, went t’look at th’tree, then read the article. mad interesting, is what i thought goin’ thru it. comments too. well done mr. bruce.
    lookie- th’Spirit represents this Being of a Most Holy Name, it is His glory to conceal a matter and the honor of Kings to search it out. to discover.
    einstein, newton, these revered th’journey as destination.
    to add to mr. bruce’s findings: don’t misunderstand forgiveness, just know it took judgement to see the need for it. (that’s right, judgement. and why not? we are observers. designed to witness, unbias, for the purpose)…
    Jesus, i could go on and on and on…

    (i’m sure i will too)

  • Hannelie

    After doing the exercises in the article I’ve realised that my biggest “fear” is that I cannot trust people and their intentions. Thank you for forcing me to evaluate my own intentions, i.e. am I a trustworthy person? This solves a whole puzzle for me, thank you! I am bursting with joy after giving my own ego a slap and then gently forgiving myself… strangely enough there are not many people out there to forgive any more now!

  • Charity


    This is the most eye opening piece of information I have ever ever read online. Direct, simple, interesting and very very intense.

    I always attract the same kind of dead ends, the same kind of friends, the same kind of neighbors, the same kind men, the same kind of woes. Gosh. Now I know better and will do better. thanks. a whole lot.

  • Ria Olivier

    Bruce, thank you for sharing yourself with us. I agree with your concept 100% but, if you did not share youself and your deepest feelings with us, the lesson learned would not make an impact. You have helped me to let go of certain “I have forgiven but not forgotten” feelings. Now I can let go.
    Ria Olivier

  • kate morrison

    Bruce – thank you – your philosopy/4-step process is so basic but unbelieveably effective – its awesome! Radical honesty is so essential and embracing the process is so revealing and liberating. Amazing.

  • Sonu


    I’m finding step number 3 the hardest. Any clues you can give?



  • kriscel marie

    thank you… thank you…

  • Leza

    I was going to write a long shpeel about how this blog opened my eyes and helped me, but then I read Christa’s blog and thought this post might help.

    2 years ago my 80 year old grandmother went into surgey to remove part of her foot. It was only a small part which would have left her still able to walk, however I the hospital was not particularly concerned with proper post-op care (we won’t go into detail) but as a result my Gran lost her whole leg up to her knee. she had to learn to walk all over again and cannot hydrate herself properly during the day as it is difficult for her to now relief herself during the evening.
    In spite of all this though, the experience gave her a new lease on life. Where she was once sitting in a chair wasting away, she now has the will to live, travels regulary and enjoys life a whole lot more.
    Perhaps your website business will take you in directions you never thought you’d once go but love, or your new ‘look’ will put in contact with fantastic new people you would not have had the opportunity to meet otherwise. I wish you the best of luck with your new adventures.

  • Sonja

    Hi Bruce,
    I would like to query something. You say “When you can authentically allow the BENEFITS you receive from your so called ‘negative’ experience to inspire you, your jaw will drop with gratitude and you’ll stop resisting, allowing blessing and good times to flow to you.”

    Does it not follow then that seeing the phenomenon of DUALITY exists, that you will also still have challenges… as many as the blessings? Surely it isn’t picky in the sense that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t?

  • Jess

    “If you really want to lock in your personal transformation, you may even want to buy the other person a gift to thank them for bringing so many benefits into your life.”

    That makes me laugh – I have a habit of serially buying gifts for my ex, who I am finding it hard to let go of, and who was the main subject of this exercise for me.

    I love the perspective and will use the exercise in other areas of my life too.

  • Diana

    Great article, I’ll try to apply this concept to my life. Thanks for sharing it!

  • Diego

    Thanks for remaind me the law of duality, I think it´s gonna help me a lot.

  • Debbie

    Thanks for the article! Just so true.I am seeing myself in a different light.It’s not about what I achieve & getting it at all “cost”.To me it’s about how do I deal with life.Instead of blaming what is not going my way I re look & say to myself how can I react differently/better.That’s when I feel better (about situation/myself) Good stuff.Thanks for describing it so simple & easy to understand, Bruce.

  • Madeleine

    Yes, the part where you look at your own life and see that you often do the same is hard, but is also the best learning experience. Accepting who you are for everything you are is a real eye opener.
    It was great seeing some more of your brilliant advice again!!! Thanks for putting this one in such an easy and understanding way.

    Here’s to a sexy you and a sexy me!!!

  • Lize

    Yes, did the DeMartini Breakthrough Experience in May in SA – awesome gift to give yourself and yes, that technique really does work, if you work it. Hope you’re well, Bruce!

  • Christa

    I have been wronged by 2 plastic surgeon. I talked with the second one, how to repair the damages from the first. He did all he should not have done and damaged my face, scalp and hair beyond repair.
    I have forgiven those guys. They criminals. Exept a lot of money, they have not very much positiv in their life.
    But I have to live with the damages, pain and a problem to speak. + I had to change all in my life. As I can only work from home without speaking, I began a Website and struggle.
    When you were wronged and lost money, you can make it again. When you were wronged from a man, you can fall in love again. But being wronged with damages on the body, there is nothing positive to it.

    • Bruce Muzik

      BRUCE’s REPLY:

      Christa, I’d challenge you when you say you have forgiven the plastic surgeons and that there are no positives. You are just not looking hard enough…

      If you seriously want to get beyond this, you’ll look until you find them.

  • Wayne Bruyns

    Good Day,Bruce.

    You dissected this issue brilliantly, it makes perfect sense, on my journey of awakening it is fairly easy to find the answers the greatest challenge lies in applying them.

    Kind Regards
    Wayne Bruyns

  • Claire

    Bruce, yet another affirmation that Universe provides everything as and when it is needed. Nothing is ever missing. I have been struggling with the concept of forgiveness within my relationship, and couldn’t quite put my finger on what I needed to do. This is it! I’ve got work to do! Blame and projections are over.

    Love to you my friend, from a chilly Cape Town


  • Martin Cooney

    Great post Bruce.
    I’d previous learnt and gone through the very same exercises with John DeMartini many years ago. Very powerful indeed.
    And your words reminded me of things forgotten and huge kudos to you – all things seem to pop up when you need them the most.

    Great work, mate.

  • Cassandra

    Dear Bruce,

    aren’t we just powerful beings to create and set up such intricate and complete mechanisms?
    I totally agree with you.
    Not sure about the sexy part though. In my experience, the people who are attracted to me because I give them lots of space are usually lousy lovers.

  • Ron Bragagnolo

    Hey Bruce
    Excellent post, took me several reads to get my head around it. Especially the part of looking at myself when I have been wronged…(still struggling with that one)

    However I must agree that the Law of Attraction really does not care if your outcome is to be positive or negative…it just give you what you want…especially when we think and act in that manner (as you point out upon doing self reflection)

    Thanks Bruce

  • Anette Van Heerden

    Way to go, Bruce! I love this “new” way of thinking. You are certainly giving us your best. So glad to have you “back” again. Keep up the good work.

  • Ubochi "Boch" Ajonjo

    I’ve always wanted to be sexy. Now I’ve got the hint. Bruce expect my friendship invite on facebook.

  • Sue

    This concept is very powerful. I have been practising something similar since I read Napoleon Hill’s words about looking for the seed of benefit in every adverse situation. It totally turns things around! But Bruce has added to this by suggesting you look for occasions where you have treated people similarly, this will make the concept even more powerful
    Thank you

  • Mervanwe

    Hey there Bruce,
    Thanx for this article – it truly is an eye opener and powerful. I read something similar by Depak, but that was looking at what we “hate” or despise in others, we will find on reflection, is a mirror of ourselves or our traits.
    Just the title was a shock to my system, but how you have explained the forgiveness bit is awesome. I am most definitely going to do some deep thinking on these issues as there are a number of unhelpful patterns in my life.
    Thanx you my friend

  • Sonny Nair

    Hi Bruce,
    I was never the forgiving type. I hold on to the grudges everyday of my remaining years of my life. After reading to your article, and doing the exercise, I come to realise how true your words are. Even while doing the exercise in my mind, I could feel the burden that I carry, slowly melting away from me. I could see the benefits that is doing to my body and mind. I’m so relieved. I’m going to spread this article around to everyone I know. I’m sure my friends will feel different and surely we’ll enjoy our gathering much better. Thank you Bruce Muzik. Great Work.

  • Indira

    Very true and thank you very much Bruce.

  • rocky

    hey hi bruce

    thank u a lot for this valuable information its 100% true
    & i will use this method thanks a lot

  • Nico

    Hi BRUCE,
    Good DAY. I just lost my job and i think i attracted this to happen. How can i turn things around. Thanks.

  • Sherri Lynn

    Hi Bruce: Just finished reading the article. What you have said about forgiveness is very much in line with the teachings of A Course In Miracles (Foundation of Peace) and the spin-off book, The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary R. Renard!! So….well done, and thanks for this and other posts. Keep up the good works. Much appreciated!

  • Theyo Bedeau

    Thank you for a wonderful inspireing revelation, a way of living I have been striving for daily, and know that it frees me from taking on anyones guilt, forgivness gives no satisfaction to either party, but learning to recognise the benefit of an otherwise “Bad” experience and learning from it allows you to grow into a more balanced Human Be-ing. and Yes that feeling of Sexiness is very apperant, it just is……..Thanks again Bruce, keep it coming. xxx

  • Pamela

    Bruce, this is radical thinking at its finest. I’ve been resisting something in my relationship, something which happened in a previous relationship. With your technique I realised that I feared what I’ve done myself to others and attracted the very thing I wanted to avoid.

  • Sheryl-Joy

    thank you Bruce, so many others have said it in their ways….I just wanted to say a simple THANK YOU for honoring us to accept this deeply healing concept, without resistance.
    like the other beautiful people, I was able to receive a deeply effective gift of love & healing from you
    from a South African living in the Napa Valley, CA
    and about to move to Cairo, Egypt…….ahhhh i let go of all my resistance to this move………thank you & bless you.

  • Jarl Forsman

    Great article Bruce. I’d like to make sure two other people get credit for some of these techniques. BYRON KATIE “The Work” (which is about turning around a judgment and seeing that you are “the rapist”) and COLIN TIPPING of “Radical Forgiveness” each came up with one of these two techniques a few decades ago.
    There is one important thing I’d like to add to this. Over the past 15 years, I’ve been “spinning” perceived transgressions or violations I’ve experienced to find the good, be grateful for the lesson, and move on. It works wonders in terms of the vibration it creates when we let go of blame and take responsibility for our perceptions. Being a victim is low consciousness. I’d like to add that I have found great value in FEELING THE FEELINGS of the hurt BEFORE I spin it into something beneficial, and don’t throw out discretion when your throw away blame.

  • Roz

    Like the law of duality – You only see in others what you have experienced or done. You cannot see in them what isn’t in you.

  • Sue

    Beautifully put! I have to admit, I’ve never quite thought about it in this way before – but the point is definitely taken.

    I’ve always viewed forgiveness as something where I forgave myself for having judged and reacted the way I had to a given situation – but there is a problem with that, too.

    See – if you feel you have to forgive someone, that is in essence giving them the power to “do to” you. But, feeling you need to forgive yourself means that you have judged yourself as “less than” as well, and so it becomes a double-edged sword.

    Yes, it can be a good idea, but then you have to let go of the idea that everything happens for a reason, and you also have to avoid the trap of thinking yourself into depression and low self-worth.

    Much better to end the pattern as soon as its recognized than to spend life “forgiving” yourself and everyone else around you!

    Thanks, Bruce

  • Keith


    Reading this was a very positive experience.
    Yes, it is easy to drop into anger or frustration if something does not go MY way. Going and finding the duality/other side of the event is better than forgiveness as you point out. That opens the opportunity for me to see what I am doing and why I am upset with the other person-place or thing. Then I am able to take appropriate action with me.

    Very eloquently and thoroughly presented, well done!

  • Viktoria

    Dear Bruce!
    Thank you for a such revealling information about Forgiveness. It was day when I was blue due to some problems in my relationship. I tried to forgive and still felt bitterness, anger and disappointment. For some reason the Universe brought me to your blog and it was just what I needed at that moment; everything became clear in my mind and heart,”I resist therefore it persists”. Your exersice works perfectly well…You are smart cookie!!! You put together Duality, Forgiveness, Resistance and Law of Attraction…It gave me strength and ability to see good in each so called my “bad” experience…and not to blame anyone or anything but rather to thank adversaties in my life, knowing that only I create them in my reality. I’d like to invite the Magic in my Life!!! thanks to you…
    With Unconditional Love, Viktoria

  • Sue

    Beautiful words, Bruce. I love how you choose to be who you are: “I know this is a radical concept that challenges conventional wisdom…” LOVE it. Keep being radical. We are moving away from a world of duality and into one of unity. There are multiple views to EVERY situation. I enjoy your blog very much. Thank you.

  • Karen Kay

    Oh dear. This is going to require some serious work! I appreciate you so much Bruce for laying it out there so clearly for me.

    Time to start on that list!

  • Bruce Muzik

    I am so moved reading these comments. Well done and keep ’em coming…

  • Timea

    Just by reading your article, i’ve managed to see a pattern i have been creating repeatedly in my life. And how for the last few days i’ve only been seeing the ‘bad’ side of a recent experience and apportioning blame and not taking responsibility. Now i have been able to see this quality in myself and it made me cry to see it. But also helped to shift the energy. So thank you!

  • Anne Marie Price

    Thanks Bruce, excellent way of looking at our past negative experiences! Changing our perception changes everything. Going to copy this into word pad for future reference. Looking at the flip side. 🙂

  • Desi

    Your best blog yet. A whole new way of looking at things. And quite amazing that I should have read this article just at a time when I’ve been looking for a way to find help on some issues I’m dealing with right now. Thank You.

  • mary

    Thanks Bruce. Both informative and inspiritational.

  • svetlana

    P.P.P.S forgot to click on
    Notify me of followup comments via e-mail 😉 x

  • svetlana

    when i stay consciously aware of so called “bad experience” when is taking place in my life ,I’ll say to my self : ‘b fore to get angry see the higher reason for this is happening!’ , the answer comes pretty much immediately & its usually funny one cos Universe hv amazing & even a bit of “sick” seance of humour! LOL & then I would really feel blessed ,even my “Ego” my “mini me” will state that its hurts, but I’ll see the”bad situation” as the Universe is giving me a chance to b come better & wiser soul!
    the only difficult i really find is to stay consciously aware every day, aware of the ‘Ego’ or I’m calling “mini me” LOL , that will argue against this wise way of thinking,that is why websites & people like u Bruse so important to keep us aware !
    thx Bruse for this blog , really helped me today to step on step higher!
    & I’m most certainly would love to hv sex with u let me know when u available ! ha-ha-ha)))))
    P.S. no kidding … LOL )))))
    P.P.S. i woke up this morning ,cloudy day , waiting for thing to happen …& suddenly my “mini me” or “Ego” or “subconscious mind” said really loud in my head ‘I’m not happy today!’, WOW my conscious & always happy mind says back, what was that ? & so i asked back to that thought ‘why?’ & the answer was : ‘well there is nothing really not to b happy about, cos “u” teaching me to b grateful for everything, but the situation “I’m” in right now not the one “i” wish to c my self cos “i” deserve better! here it is!’, & then i replay back on this to my “mini me”, ‘but I’m in charge of my life , my emotions & how i want to feel & so I’m choosing to b happy today & if “u” r not happy where “u” r then or do something about or stop moaning! & yes b grateful what what “u” have cos there is plenty of hungry people in this world,so go do something nice to day!’ sounds crazy when people admitting that they do talking to them selves, ha-ha-ha))) but we all doing this one way or another & its only way so to stay consciously aware of negative thinking that would lead to negative emotions. (but b aware not speak loud in public ha-ha))) & so i choose to b happy today ! so my P.P.S. is that thank to Bruse , also after reading his blog I’m also choosing to b forgiving!
    cos its my choice after all what i want to b! 😉
    excuse my English , my Russian much better LOL!

  • Rita

    Thanks, Bruce. This has been a big issue for me, to the point of questioning my own judgement. This exercise allowed me to see that it was my judgement of others causing the resistance and the continuing pattern. What I saw as betrayal was the impetus for living life on my own terms, priceless!

  • Neringa

    Hi Bruce,

    Great article! It works already!!! thanks!

  • Karie

    I just yesterday decided to live a “Value added Life and business”
    Recently I bought a program from a doctor and lost a bunch of money, thousands actually. I felt totally screwed and pissed at myself. Then I remembered that years ago I sold a weight loss patch and biz opp That over time I no longer believed in. I continued to sell it knowing that it only worked for a small percentage of people. I realized yesterday that I was getting what I gave in the world.It’s crazy the timeliness of you post!
    Hugs from across the pond, California

  • Lynette

    Wow, Bruce, wow. Your blog LITERALLY freed my heart, mind and soul this morning. I had been holding on to anger for years over the ways that various people had treated me in all aspects of my life. It was literally eating me up inside and affecting my work, my relationships with friends and family members, and most notably, my relationship with myself. I chose to do the exercise with pencil and paper this morning, and when it was over I just kept writing and writing until I had gotten everything out that I needed to. I realize now that I had created a resistance pattern that ultimately led everything I did not want to my own front door. And I realize now that through releasing this resistance pattern, I am free and open to attract the things that I do want into my life, and not only will I benefit from it, but so will everyone around me. Thank you, Bruce, thank you. Please know that you are changing the world, one blog at a time.

  • Rolf

    There is so much truth to this article it’s not even funny. I’ve always noticed how people complain about the exact traits that I see in them, like a fat person complaining about fat people for example, and I find it really funny. The scary part is that I do the same thing and I don’t know it. Facing yourself like that is extremely challenging.

  • Warren

    Hi Bruce,
    On the level of linear Newtonian Physics & duality you are correct! However, that is always hard work & life becomes a struggle of ups & downs, as we all have experienced. For lasting peace, joy & healing one needs to experience & feel beyond duality, beyond cause & effect – a consciousness experienced in the realm of Quantum physics – check out Richard Barlett’s Matrix Energetics or Frank Kinslow’s Instant Healing. Thanks for your articles! Regards, Warren.

  • Liz

    Amazing article and exercise. I knew about the idea that whatever and whoever is in our lives is a reflection of something in us, but never looked at it quite like this. Quite brilliant I think. Thanks for this.

  • Steve

    Thank you Bruce!

    You have cleared up the mystery of what REAL forgiveness is, and shown us how to get down to the roots of any issue.

    And thank you especially for your honesty and openness. It demonstrates what you are saying: revealing your “mistakes” probably feels uncomfortable (something to be resisted), but the flip side is that your explanation makes the world a much more comfortable place, for those who take to heart what you’re saying here.

  • Mike

    Thanks for this Bruce.

    This article was a real eye opener! It really made me stop and take stock of things. Love the work you’re doing man. Keep it up. Cheers Mike

  • Olive O'Brien

    Well done Bruce, I have learned this lesson the hard way. Another way of putting it is “Treat people as you would like to be treated yourself” But you DO have to question every motive for every action and if there is no hidden agenda……well then…..all will be well. It is amazing how wonderful life becomes when you only have goodness in you heart. To live with the attitude of gratitude also helps. Fondest regards, Olive O’Brien


    Bruce, very cool & spot on! I have noticed for some time now that it often seems to me that I have the very same traits that I am damning in someone else! At first the seeming contradiction of it
    all was maddening to me & then I had the revelation that some “agency” may be trying to get a message through to me & this has calmed down my reactionary tendency a lot. It takes the heat out of events & allows me to enjoy the present moment. The exercise is great. The revelation on forgiveness is great cause it gets to a core issue of if I feel wronged & that it is then spiritually politic to forgive, as in the sermon on the mount, lord’s prayer & all that, then it
    presupposes that I am bearing a grudge & resentment toward the other & that despite what I am saying with my mouth, I have not let go of the incident at all. Truly, it is just festering away
    in there breeding more little monsters & providing a platform, a favorable environment for those
    little monsters & the concomitant repetition of same in which to breed. When I really “tune in” to
    what is happening, it doesn’t feel good, it sucks. Not the reward I was hoping for in advancing forgiveness, the payoff just isn’t there. But in really letting it go, not resisting, the weight is
    off, it’s a relief! So bravo, Bruce. I especially like your p.p.s. Shine on you crazy diamond, Tom.

  • suresh

    Dear Bruce,

    what you resists persists – I know this saying since….my god, almost half my life! I learned this words 30 years ago from Osho (a.k.a. Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh). But! I never employed them to “work” on frustrating situations! I immediately remembered three of them, when I felt pretty close to being destroyed. So..your mail was a really eye-opener to remember the wisdom treasure of these simple words. Thank you very much for that.

  • Tertius

    Excellent work Bruce. We all need to look in the mirror from time to time, especially when we least want to admit it.

  • Barbara

    I can feel that this is right but It will take some time tosee it in all areas of my life. Thank you for this new way of looking at my p4roblems.

  • Jane

    A truly enlightening article, thank you so much for publishing it.

    I have been having similiar thoughts about forgiveness and decided to forgive,but it didn`t help as I found out through a `revelation` like grace descending on me that I had been carrying an unconscious resentment, so could notlet the past go.
    Amazing the effect this had on me.

    All my very best wishes, Jane

  • karen

    Thanks for this Bruce! I’ve been feeling for a long time now that forgiveness kind of defeated the purpose. I’ve been lloking deeper and becoming more accepting of the lessons I’ve chosen to bring into my life. I feel the feelings and then ask (just as you said) what’s my part in this. There is more peace in my life and yes I am attracting a lot of attention for it!!:). It’s a birthday blessing for me this validation Bruce. Thank You.

  • Bev

    Great article Bruce – and oh so true! I have added this to my toolbox of practices to lead a more authentic life

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